


Just Try It

by endthedream (itsoundslikeabadjoke)



Category: Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: Kinda, M/M, Nooj Wank, Post-Game(s), gippalai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1656791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsoundslikeabadjoke/pseuds/endthedream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Baralai meets with Cid to discuss politics, Gippal comes to Bevelle looking for sanctuary... from an incident he won't tell Baralai about..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gippal's Problem

**Author's Note:**

> You may have seen this on FF.net a few years back... Well I'm rebooting it, since the remaster! Falling back into the fandom! My babies aaahhh......
> 
> Anyway, bit of nooj-wank in here, but it's more just Baralai being irritated with him. Post-game.

I hate drinking.

I hate the rotten smell of the alcohol, the burn as it goes down my throat, the sick feeling I get as it starts to reach my stomach… I don't get any really good effect. Like the stupid laughing. My face flushes… I get hot, so hot… Then I get tired and horribly dizzy. Exhausted, even. If I manage to stay awake, then the fatigue turns into a wonderful headache and I want to curl into a ball.

I don't judge others who drink. If it makes them happy and relaxed, then let them drink!

But others judge me based on the fact that I won't drink with them. I think in the AlBhed culture, it's even considered an insult if you don't drink with your host, when offered.

I look down at the glass that Cid, the leader of the AlBhed, uncle to High Summoner Yuna and father to a few of the Gullwings, had offered me. I could smell it from his hand all the way to behind the collar of my shirt. I didn't want it, but I couldn't refuse it.

I slowly take it into my hands and much to my horror, the glass was hot. Hot alcohol. I thank him anyway and look to Gippal as he receives a glass as well. The glance he gives me tells me to drink it, or else.

So it is a serious issue.

The younger AlBhed drinks the whole glass at once, then takes a deep breath. Cid holds his own glass out to me and smiles, "To new alliances. As odd as it may sound, may Bevelle and the AlBhed share a bond for centuries to come."

"To new alliances." I hold my glass up like he is and he hits his glass against mine and drinks the whole thing just as Gippal had. I follow suit and nearly throw up in the process.

It BURNS. In more ways than one and it nearly makes me spit the nasty concoction all over the table. I manage to swallow all of it, but still cough a bit after, much to the glee of the two AlBhed men with me.

"Ha ha, not bad kid! I'm surprised you didn't hoark it all over!"

It's the same moment that I realize that Cid is excessively loud, that I realize that Gippal is being much more quiet and reserved than he usually is. I set my glass on the table and lean back in my chair, suppressing a groan as I feel the liquid slowly making its way to my stomach.

"It's really strong." I say off handedly, thankful that 'Home' is air-conditioned. This would be one hell of a meeting if it weren't.

Gippal shifts and I can tell he's uncomfortable. "Shouldn't we discuss the plans?" He mumbles, keeping his eye on the ceiling, also leaning back in his chair.

Cid scoffs and glares at him and I can immediately tell there's a tension here. "Crid ib. We're trying to be social. This is a major breakthrough for our people."

I can tell Gippal wants out of here as bad as I do, but I decide to stay out of this fight, not knowing where it started.

My assumption would be that Gippal has gained quite a bit of power recently and it's upsetting the leader.

But that might just be the fast acting drink talking.

I was already feeling warm as they began to talk about simple things, like weather in Bikanel compared to Bevelle. The dizziness starts to set in when we actually get to business. I'm ready to fall asleep on the table and I think Gippal takes notice.

I can feel his hand briefly brush my thigh and I'm wide awake again _. Not at all really aware of my surroundings, but certainly awake._

I'm just glad that I am neither a stupidly happy drunk or a particularly angry drunk. Perhaps this level-headed drunkenness would come in handy.

We talk about plans, plans to increase the rate at which Home is being built… Officially sign Bikanel over to the AlBhed making it their true homeland… in return for things like help with the Machina around the temples and the repopulation of Chocobos, that Yuna's Shuyin-like husband has been pushing near constantly.

It's all pretty complex and I truly wish I could have denied the drink. My head starts to ache suddenly, but we're just about finished when that happens.

"Well, I think that settles it!" The older AlBhed nods, clearly happy with what we had accomplished in… I look at the digital clock on the wall… nine hours? Where did that time go?

How did I stay awake for that matter?

He offers me another drink and again, I take it and toast to us.

xxx

I reach the room I'm staying in and absolutely collapse onto the bed… Which turns out to be hard as a rock, much to my already aching head's regret.

I don't bother changing at all, just lay on my stomach and close my eyes, trying to sleep as much as I could before I could leave this horrible hell hole tomorrow.

…

That's not right.

I immediately curse my train of thought, trying to kill the anger that was rising in me.

Maybe I am an angry drunk? Maybe it's just the fact that it was so hot…

And strong.

I hear a knock at my door and I'm ready to snap. "What is it?"

I hear an awkward laugh on the other end. "You feelin' alright?"

Gippal. "Come in, it's unlocked."

"It's not, actually."

"…" I don't want to get up and open it for him, as much as I'd really like to know why Cid is so pissed with him. "I really… really don't want to get up right now."

"Well I really, really, really need to talk to you, so my three really's cancel out two of your really's and still have one left over."

I groan. Loudly. "You're drunk."

"So are you. OPEN UP, BITCH." He's attempting to be playful, I can tell by the tone of his voice. There's something familiar about it.

I chuckle and sigh, shoving myself off the bed and forcing my legs to walk me to the door. I open it, without having to unlock it. "It was unlocked, asshole."

"Cred, really? I guess I was pulling it, instead of pushing it." He leans against the doorframe, one arm holding him up, the other placed on his hip. "Or maybe I just wanted to force you to open it for me."

"What do you want, Gippal?"

"Right now?"

"Yeah." I shake my head. Honestly, he can be so childish.

"You." He throws his arms around my neck, causing me to fall back enough where he can shut the door with his foot. After it's shut, he pulls me against him and rests his head on my shoulder.

"Gippal, I'm really tired and it's hot and I'm drunk and I have a headache…"

"I love you." He grips me a tiny bit tighter and buries his face into the fabric of my shirt.

Fuck. So, he's a sad drunk then.

I wrap an arm around him and pat his back. "I love you, too. Now go to sleep and we'll talk in the morning."

"I don't wanna talk anymore, 'Lai. I don't… I don't even wanna be here anymore."

I lay my chin against his shoulder, wondering how he survives in all his clothes in the desert. "Ok, so you can spend some time in Bevelle, but tonight-"

"Tonight, let me be with you."

xxx

I ended up, after much complaining on his part, letting him stay in my bed. It's not too odd, considering this had happened many times when we were training for the Crimson Squad. We're both fully clothed and laying on the bed, when I decide to right out and ask him about Cid.

He stares at me with his eye for a bit, before closing it and replying, "His daughter almost died saving me when I lost my eye. He was pissed. Then I started dating his daughter, he was even angrier. Then I broke up with his daughter and he was furious. Then I left to go fight alongside Yevonites and he was ready to strangle me. Then I refused to help rebuilt the Home he blew up and opened my own Machine Faction."

"Let me guess," I interrupt, "He got so angry…"

"That he hates me. Yeah. But now he has to work with me." Gippal opens his eye again and moves forward so our foreheads touch, "Doesn't mean he hasn't done everything in his power to make my life a living hell though."

"Have you tried talking to the Gullwings about it?"

He lays his head back on the pillow. "Uh-uh. They'll only make it worse. They're on the outs with him, too."

"Well, damn." I smile at him. I don't really care if Cid hates Gippal, it doesn't affect me any. Gippal likes me and as far as I could tell, Cid does too. "Wait… Does that mean that if Cid finds you in my room that he's going to…"

"Nah, you've been respectful and obedient. He loves that shit."

xxx

I see the airship that is to take me back to Bevelle, landing in the designated area a few yards away. Cid laughs loudly – so loudly – and slams me on the back a few times. We exchange formalities and I'm quick to head into the machina, ready to get back to a cool town with quiet, sober monks and nuns and sit in my office with my paper work. It all sounds so appealing now.

… Nooj was right, I sound old.

And it's horrible hearing that come from a man who wears granny glasses and walks around with a cane.

xxx

Gippal wasn't lying when he said he hadn't wanted to be in Bikanel any more. Apparently, he hadn't even wanted to be in Djose, as he's shown up here… Sober, at least, with a smile on his face.

I welcome him to stay as long as he pleases, offering him a room close to mine. I don't entirely trust the monks around here not to try anything.


	2. Cid's Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't figure out how I was still awake at the moment or how I was supposed to stay awake long enough to enumerate the amount of new monks to assign to the temples… Not to mention that everything I had done in the past three weeks was to be documented and given to Nooj to analyze.

I sighed, setting my head against the cool of my (now) clean desk. I couldn't figure out how I was still awake at the moment or how I was supposed to stay awake long enough to enumerate the amount of new monks to assign to the temples… Not to mention that everything I had done in the past three weeks was to be documented and given to Nooj to analyze.

Son of a bitch.

Sure, we're supposed to be friends again… but I have never felt more distant from the man. Aside from the fact that being Praetor has long since lost its mysterious and interesting glow, replaced by unimaginable amounts of paper work and irritating meetings and traitorous sphere hunters.

"Sir?" I lift my head and glared at the innocent acolyte, who looked to the ground, nervously shifting on his feet.

"What is it now?" I know the kid didn't deserve it, but I'm too tired to care.

"Uh… Mr. Gippal is here to see you."

Bad timing on Gippal's part… but he's always a welcome guest.

The AlBhed strutted into my office, a smirk gracing his chapped lips. He looks as exhausted as I feel.

"Mister? Haha, that's new." The acolyte bowed his head. "But let's not make that a thing you people call me, ok?"

Before the boy had a chance to stammer out an apology, I dismissed him.

"Ch. Mister Gippal." The blonde man fell heavily into one of the chairs that outlined the office, taking a minute before his eye met with mine.

"And what do I owe the honor of this visit to?" I hadn't moved from my desk and my eyes never left Gippal. There was something about his mannerisms since he came to Bevelle… Well, ever since the meeting at Home, really…

"I'm running away from home!" Gippal crossed his arms in a fake pout.

"You probably shouldn't be telling me this. You know I have to tell Nooj everything that happens in Bevelle." I say it as a joke, but I can tell Gippal knows I'm bitter on the subject.

The AlBhed laughed and cursed in his native tongue. "Cred… Fuck Nooj man, I don't wanna go back."

I lower my voice and lean in towards him a bit, "Well, you can stay here as long as you want… Just don't ever tell him that I knew." I ended the sentence with a wink, pleased when Gippal laughed loudly.

"Ah Baralai… Oh 'Lai. I've missed this."

"What? Freedom?"

"Nah… Well, that too. But I meant… I've missed… Oui yht E. Ic." You and I. Us.

"… Gippal…" Not this again. I'm not good with this sort of thing. The first time he told me-

"E ghuf, e ghuf." He averted his eyes away from me and I'm worried that I've upsetted him. If there's any ally I want… NEED in Spira… it's him. "Still in two different worlds and now constantly in the public eye. I get it. E ghuf."

"… Yes." So he understands.

He stood up and stretched his arms above his head, I avoid looking at him as he moves, my eyes instead staring at my empty desk. "I'm serious about running away though. Don't tell anyone."

"Even the Gullwings?" I smirk and look back at him as he swings his arms back down. I know it irks him when I bring them up.

He scoffs loudly and I can't help but inwardly smile. "ESPECIALLY the Gullwings. Fucking tattletales."

Xxx

_Training was over for the day and Gippal and Baralai lay on the same mat in a dark tent. Baralai couldn't sleep, though his body was physically exhausted… Baralai never had much luck sleeping in places like this, more used to the soft beds in Bevelle. It was a source of constant teasing from his colleagues, but never from the Al Bhed that shared the tent with him. The tan man closed his eyes as he felt a hand run through his hair._

_"Baralai?"_

_The young Yevonite looked up into the single swirled eye that was staring at him, "Huh?"_

_"I just wanted to tell you that… You're special."_

_Baralai laughed quietly at this, closing his eyes again and turning his face into the rough fabric below his head. "Well, thanks." He mumbled back._

_"I'm serious." And he sounded serious. Baralai didn't look up though, not wanting anything to happen._

_Nothing could happen._

_Nothing was allowed to happen._

_"Baralai, listen to me. Back home… I'm considered a 'ladies man' or whatever. I've always… I mean…"_

_The Yevonite knew where this was headed… he needed to stop it right there because that's exactly what he was. A Yevonite. A man of Yevon. Even if he felt no disdain towards the Al Bhed people... he could never allow something like… like this… to happen. He was very faithful in his religion and would stick to it._

_He grabbed the Al Bhed's wrist and pulled it away from him. "Gippal, don't."_

_"I lo-"_

_"I mean it!"_

_"I LOVE-"_

_"HUSH." Baralai sat up quickly, moving himself away from Gippal._

_The other man slowly followed suit, slowly sitting up crossed-legged, in a relaxed contrast to Baralai's drawn up knees._

_"Why? Is this a religion thing? Like… being with another man isn't… okay?"_

_Baralai rubbed his forehead, more to block his vision of Gippal than to relieve irritation. "No, it's not that. There are many gay couples that practice The Religion. It's just that…"_

_"I'm an Al Bhed." Gippal dead-panned and their eyes met._

_"Gippal, you know I care about you and your race means nothing to me personally… I just…"_

_He sighed, eye half-lidded, long lashes covering his downcast swirled iris. "I know."_

_'And now I feel like a racist asshole.' Baralai thought. The Yevonite pulled the Al Bhed into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding them together. "Please, please don't let this come between us…"_

_Much to Baralai's relief, Gippal immediately returned the hug. "Just promise me you'll never hate me."_

_"I promise."_

Xxx

Gippal had been in Bevelle for nearly a week when people started wondering where he was. I asked him many times, if it would truly be bad just to tell them that he was taking a break. He absolutely refused.

I asked if he could just quit being the leader of the Machine Faction. Let someone else deal with the stress.

Again, he refused.

It wasn't long before Al Bhed and humans alike were starting to get worried, even panicked, over the disappearance of the Machine Faction Leader. Last time something like this happened…

In an interview, Nooj had reassured the people of Spira that he had no idea where Gippal was and that Nooj had no intention of disappearing again. He said it with a smirk on his face, like it was a joke.

Gippal calmed me down, when I started fuming that he didn't care that Gippal was missing.

"I'm sure he cares, 'Lai." He set his hand on my back and I turned off the screen that was showing the news. "He just has to stay strong for people."

Sure, that's why he practically laughed as he spoke. Stupid jerk.

Xxx

When Cid had shown up in Bevelle, I was positive that Gippal's vanishing-act must have been the reason. I had sent one of the few trusted Monk's to tell Gippal that the AlBhed leader was here and to stay wherever he was and hide.

I had no idea how wrong I was.

Xxx

The older AlBhed man stood before me looking at me confidently, if a bit sadly, straight in the eyes. It sent shivers down my spine.

I could… see through him.

I could see through him! There were pyreflies filling my office! NO!

Cid was an unsent? For how long? Why? What had happened? Why was he here?

What in Yevon's name is going on?

I had so many questions, but I could only stare at him wide-eyed, mouth agape. This was bad and it meant many, many bad things for Spira.

"Kid, I need your help."

Xxx

I had sent him away, by the time dusk had arrived. No, I don't mean that I had sent his soul to the Farplane.

How could I?

The Al Bhed people, though angry with the man, needed him more than anyone could possibly imagine. He was the one to bring them together and hold them there. He helped with the repopulation –rebirth even- of their civilization.

And his children… Oh dear Yevon, his children.

If I was stressed before, I'm damn near close to my breaking point now. Cid had asked for my advice and it's more than I could handle.

How could he possibly ask something like 'Who should be the leader of the hundreds Al Bhed now that I'm dead?' to someone that had scarcely known three or four Al Bhed in his entire life?

Gippal barely wanted to speak Al Bhed anymore, much less control them. He doesn't feel as if he's in control of his own life and there's no way I'm going to put my best friend into a situation where he's forced to take the world onto his shoulders.

Rin was another possibility, the businessman that had gained his fame even before Sin was defeated and Al Bhed were no longer the most hated people in Spira (being replaced with the Guado, of course) with his travel agencies and now his newest business adventure with SphereBreak… But Cid had said that he had quickly gotten rid of the thought, as the man would quickly sell them, if he could find a buyer.

And Cid had said that his son hated anything to do with real work or rebuilding Home… and despised anything to do with his father… So he was definitely on the no-list as well. So where did that leave the unsent man?

Nowhere good, of that I was sure.

I had apologized for my lack of help and the Al Bhed man had understood.

"Please, keep in contact though." I had finally regained my calm, "I want to know what you decide before you go."

The Al Bhed leader rubbed his neck, "And I can… count on you to keep our promises, right? Even after I'm gone?"

"Ypcumidmo."Absolutely.

The man smiled, though I saw the pain he felt, through his eyes. What was it like to be the living dead?

Horrible, I imagine.

Xxx

I had promised not to tell a soul about Cid's current… state. If there was anything I could do, it was keep secrets. I promised him that the information would never leave my mouth.

And just as I had kept Gippal's secret from Cid, I planned on keeping Cid's secret from Gippal.

Gippal needed to figure himself out right now, anyway. No point in putting this on him.

Xxx

Days passed rather uneventfully, I worked and talked to Gippal when I could. We ate meals together and held a very inclusive party with a few of the monks, acolytes and nuns that I knew wouldn't run off telling anyone of his presence.

He hadn't made any progress with figuring himself out and although he was beginning to show signs of relief from stress, I still urged him to get his mind back to a point where he could at least tell Spira what he was doing.

"Spira can think I'm dead, for all I care." Was his only reply, before suggesting that we go star-gazing that night. Having finished all my paperwork (thank YEVON that Gippal helped with the reports to go to Nooj… they were a bit past due and the Youth League leader was getting antsy), I agreed to go with him. I thought that, perhaps, my undivided attention might be enough to get him out of his shell and figure out what was wrong with him.

I sat on the roof of one of Bevelle's highest buildings, arms supporting my head as we stared at the night sky. My mind was on Cid and the future of the Al Bhed, when Gippal started to speak.

"If you could wish for one thing, Lai, what would it be?"

"I would wish for happiness."

The Al Bhed laughed, "Well, that's vague."

"Think about it, Gippal." I replied, looking over to him. "Isn't the point of making any wish, to obtain joy? So why not just wish for it to begin with?"

He was silent then, staring up at the stars. I could tell he was thinking about something.

"Gippal? Are you alright?"

"Yeah." He replied quietly. He was falling back into his shell. It wasn't right. It wasn't… like him.

I gently move one of my arms from behind my head and set a few of my fingers over his. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

He let out the breath that I hadn't known he was holding and looked at me. I covered his hand entirely with my own then. "You can't promise something like that, Baralai. You can't know what the future holds."

"…. A wise man once told me, 'Everything is always okay in the end. If it's not okay… then it's not the end."

They were words straight out of Maester Mika's mouth… But Gippal didn't need to know that.


	3. Baralai's Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Gippal." I say it rather quietly, but he still jumps a bit. I chuckle. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
> 
> "I am now." He smiles and quickly shuts the book and shoves it into a shelf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book mentioned in this chapter is actually about Marie Antoinette. I just thought that the passage was right for where I'm planning to take the story… For where it's heading on it's own. Funny thing is, I just picked a random book off the shelf and opened to a random page to get that passage. It fits well. I suppose in Spira, it would be very much a fantasy book...

I haven't seen much of Gippal in the past few days and it worries me. He seems to be hiding in the depths of Bevelle, in hidden libraries and locked away in museums for hours on end. These sorts of things make no sense to me.

Looking at the clock on my wall, I have around seven hours until I have a meeting. I was planning on sleeping for the night, but I decide instead to go find Gippal. After asking a few monks and nuns, each pointing me along the way, I find him in a small library reading a book. The title was hidden by his large hand, but he seemed to be reading it intensely, as he didn't notice when I approached.

"Gippal." I say it rather quietly, but he still jumps a bit. I chuckle. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"I am now." He smiles and quickly shuts the book and shoves it into a shelf. I briefly glance at the title.

"The Queen's Confession?" I ask, waving towards the book.

He looks back at it and shrugs. "I picked it up and it sort of… pulled me in, I guess."

Xxx

The Queen's Confession isn't a book that I have personally read, but Gippal had bookmarked the page he was on when I had interrupted him. I decided, after he went to his new boudoir to sleep for the night, to read what had intrigued him so. I know for a fact that he had not gotten over seventy pages into a book by the time I got there, so it must have been the specific page he was on.

'My mother was writing as often as ever and her theme was: There must be a dauphin. "I am growing impatient; I have not much time left to me."

I too longed for a dauphin. And soon, to my great joy, I was pregnant again. Then a dreadful thing happened. I had a miscarriage. I wept bitterly and the King wept with me. I was quite ill for a few days but my health was so good generally that I quickly recovered.

Then another blow struck. The Abbe Vermond came to my apartments, his eyes wild, his lips twitching. "Your Majesty must prepare yourself for a great disaster."

I saw the letter in his hand and I knew. "The Empress… is dead," I said blankly. He nodded. I was numbed, conscious of a terrible loneliness, like a child who knows it will never feel entirely safe again. "I want to be alone…" I whispered.

He left me and I sat on the bed and remembered my mother at her mirror while the little hairdresser combed her hair. I could picture her bending over my bed when I was pretending I was asleep. Then I could hear her voice. "You must do this. You must do that. Such thoughtlessness, such dissipation… You are rushing on to destruction. I tremble for you…"

"Oh tremble for me, Mamma," I whispered, "for without you I am so alone."

I ordered court mourning and shut myself in my apartments and for several days saw no one but members of the royal family…'

My mind began wandering back to the children of Cid and I felt sick to my stomach.

What was to become of the rest of the Al Bhed? What was to become of Gippal?

Xxx

I asked Gippal, the next day, to sit with me for dinner. We always dine together now, but never alone. I made sure he understood that I needed to talk to him. He couldn't be late, as he was quite often prone to be.

He arrived on time, though entered the room rather cautiously, as if he knew what this would be about. He leisurely sat on the other side of the small round table, crossing his legs off to the side of it and setting his arm down.

"So… Dinner for two, huh? How romantic." He smirked and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his attempt at lowering tension.

"We need to talk."

The smirk that was on his face was quickly replaced by a small frown. "Yeah. 'You've overstayed your welcome, Mr. Gippal, it's time to get the hell outta here.'" Gippal mocked me and I chuckled shaking my head.

"Gippal, your welcome in Bevelle…" No, that wasn't right. "Your welcome in my residence," I corrected myself, "is infinite."

Now I had a smile directed towards me and I felt more relaxed. If there was one thing I didn't want him thinking, it was that we weren't close anymore. I don't think I personally would ever want him to leave Bevelle… If I had the choice.

"So… What is it?" He turned his body straight and leaned forward over his plate, propping his chin up with the palms of his hands.

I followed his posture and did the same thing, looking him in the eye. How do I bring this up?

"You need to tell them you're here, Gippal." He sighed heavily and leaned back again, his long legs stretching under the table. "I'm serious. Things are about to get…"

He looked at me again. "Get what?"

I still refused to tell him about Cid, "You need to at least tell them you're here."

He sat up straight and again, I followed suit. "Baralai, I love you, but I'd rather leave then tell them. And if YOU tell them, then I'm already gone."

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. What did that even mean? He didn't trust me, is the only reason I could think of. "I wouldn't tell anyone without your consent!" I snapped back at him. The manner in which he had said that, hurt me more than I thought it could. Perhaps it was just the stress from earlier events, but I truly felt a pain in my chest… After everything I've tried to do for him? He just stared at me, his one eye wide, saying nothing. There was an anger rising within and I stood up, glaring down at him. "But that's really pleasant, I adore your appreciation."

His body had stiffened quite a bit. "Woah woah, chill out. I didn't-"

"You didn't what?" I spat.

The man arose and was by my side quickly, wrapping his arms around my back and looking me straight in the eyes. I couldn't bring myself to push him off or hold him back, instead my arms ended up pinned between our chests as he held us together. His cheek brushed the side of my forehead.

I closed my eyes, half wanting to lean against him, but managing to control myself.

"Lyms tufh, Lai." Gippal spoke in a hushed voice, pressing his fingertips into my back slightly. "E's cunno vun ymm drec, ymnekrd? Oui ryja hu etay. E'ja hudelat ouin byeh yht... E ys cu cunno…"

I gave in and let myself rest in his hug. "Drana'c hu naycuh du pa cunno." Anger was replaced by guilt, as it often is and I pull my arms from between him and wrap them around his waist. "It's not you that has me like this. I'm sorry I took it out on you."

I could feel him shake his head, "No, I'm adding to your problems. If you help me…"

He backs up a bit and sets his forehead on mine. "Gippal… You're freezing." His forehead felt like ice against mine, but I didn't pull away.

He looks to the side and mumbles an apology, letting go of me and scratching the back of his neck as he does when he's thinking. "Bevelle ec duu lumt vun sa. E's duu icat du Bikanel."

Oh yes, of course. "We'll find a way to warm you up. I'll have someone get hot tea or something…" I look towards the door, wondering who's waiting out there, but he shakes his head.

"Nah, I'm fine. Look, I don't want you to deal with my... shit anymore."

My eyes are back on him now, "You're going to leave?" I can't hide the worry in my voice. It's not that I need him to stay, it's that I don't trust he's going to be okay out there.

"… I'll go to Luca. Word'll spread about my presence during the tournaments and then I'll just…"

"Come back here." I feel more like I'm telling him to, rather than finishing his sentence. I wondered if he was just ready to disappear into the crowds and not tell me. Unacceptable.

"Maybe…" He looks back at me, "it would be better if I didn't."

I stare at him, part of me wanting to just let him leave forever like he wants to… Part of me not wanting to let him go at all.

I take a step towards him, setting my arm on the chair next to me. "You're coming back here."

He stays silent and we stare at each other for a moment. Finally, he speaks again, "Baralai, please. Don't make me do this."

Before I can think of what to reply, we're in each other's arms again. I can't deny the pain and worry in my chest as my arms wrap tightly around his neck. "You have to, Gippal." He holds me tighter still, "If it helps, I'll go with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as far as I got with this story back then... Anyone interested in it continuing? :) Hope you enjoyed it anyway. (100% unbeta'd.... sorry, too tired to fix stuff haha)


End file.
